and look Dan! i baked!
and yes, the dog is peeing. and yes, those are pumpkin chocolate chip cookies with cream cheese icing. and yes, it's very yummy and autumny around here. Tomorrow: actual pictures of knitting on the "knitting" blog. :)
9-5-08
the man on couch corner wears his rings well
tightly clamped, he keeps them
around eyes i'll spare myself from meeting
as we pass
he is the last and first example
of what i may become in your absence
- resolve tucked snuggly in at the corners,
scars where opportunity no longer knocks -
to the dog, this man
with his layers of sweaters and regret
is a king
the prince of yesterday's garbage
the lord of all delightfully unholy things
again, not unlike you.
The city is a concentration of extremes: the rich with the poor, the sane with the lost, the very best and the very worst of what we are, or what we are capable of. Today I am witness to the clash of opposites... one man who fails to live up to my very smallest, most pessimistic hopes for humanity opposing another who far exceeds any strength or grace I am capable of. It's difficult to maintain perspective when moments like these occur... each man has his own story, neither of which I know. Each man has led a life that has steeled him for this confrontation, and who am I judge? Who am I to even have an opinion?
It's sad, though, plainly, to see someone rise above... someone who has faced ugliness so many unmentionable times that it is no longer worth acknowledging it. It's maturity, it's grace, it's the right thing to do, to rise above. But it sucks. It sucks that we have become the sort of jerks who make each other rise above our crap.
I wish we could see each other. We wander around so wrapped in our own egos we don't bother to connect, to notice, to care. How sad we are becoming.
You will walk past many people today. I hope you look them in the eye.
I love this city because it keeps me awake at night.
It's been a bit of a puzzle trying to find a job up here, but I'm still searching, still Starbucking... I met with the head of the Graduate English program at PSU to discuss my future. We are like minded and he was kind to me... I'm afraid of the years it will take, but not afraid of the choice to go back to school or the commitment to this place... I feel very much at home here.
It is good to have friends who live two blocks from my door, and good to walk to work at 4am, and good to take the dog window shopping on lazy afternoons. It is good to watch a thousand swifts zipper themselves into a chimney, and good to see the same faces on the same corners, and good to watch movies at the pub down the street in the middle of the night. It is good to feel fall descending, and good to litter the streets with posters and chalk messages and know they will reach the intended recipient. It is good to have a pattern... to walk a path into a concrete sidewalk, to follow in your own footsteps, to feel at home. It is good to be here.
i miss my family, but it is good to know that I can feel myself here, feel like myself here... to write my name on the sidewalk and know where I belong.
So we had our Obama party last week to watch all the speechin'... a good time had by all. We also feel that McCain's choice of running mate is a cheap move on his part... honestly. Choosing someone BECAUSE they're a woman is just as sexist as NOT choosing someone because they're a woman. Anyhow, pictures:
(this is Dan and Mel's place, btw)
Caper braved the dog park for the first time in years, and despite never leaving my side for more than 15 seconds, he did well.
I've decided since moving here that we want to be the sort of people who shop at the farmer's market. Introducing:
Fruits and Vegetables!!! part of your complete breakfast.
and to combat all those vitamins and fiber and whatnot:
turns out the oven works. yumm.
love.
The walk from my store to my apartment takes approximately four action-packed minutes. Today, I passed a surly group of vagrants arguing about something or other. I have perfected my "I'm neither afraid of nor interested in you" city walk for just this sort of occasion, so I began it, and as I passed:
Scuzzy Dude A: You're a f***ing a-hole, B.
Scuzzy Dude B: Oh yeah, well f*** you, you ba*****.
At this point, Dude B notices me, turns, tips his hat, bows a little:
B: Pardon my language, m'am.
The woman who runs everywhere, well, less runs than scuttles, like a crab or maybe a squirrel, ran up behind me the other day. She yells, a talking-to-my-buddy-across-the-football-stadium yell: "I was on my way to Boise... Boise, Idaho. But I got off at Portland. But they told me to go to Boise. But I said hell no. I'd rather go to Girlsy. Girlsy, Idaho."
I love this city. :)
This is only a test blog, primarily to see what the text looks like on the page and dink around with the title some more. So far, it's the most interesting thing to read on this page, so if you're here, and you're reading it, I hope you are entertained. Whoooo hoo, let's read as Karyn recounts to us the exciting ins and outs and ups and downs of the blog layout design process. Step One: get as many meaningless words on the page as possible, cause that's the only way to see how it looks. Step Two: Post and view.
