Sunday, August 2, 2009

It tastes good, I swear...

So on some Sundays I buy myself McDonald's for breakfast. I like McDonald's for breakfast, I always have, and I likely always will (you Food Inc. people can stop your threatening to burn me at stake for crying out loud... I'm calling your bluff). After leaving the Mickey D's drive thru this morning, I embarked on a very spiritual train of thought for my drive to church: there are a lot of things that I like that other people think are gross. To illustrate, I've created the following list, cleverly titled:

Ten Things Karyn Likes That Normal People Think Are Gross

1) McDonald's Breakfast Burritos... the little ones, not the new weird ones. The ones that they often fail to microwave enough, resulting in semi-frozen eggy insides. Man, I love those things.

2) Puppy kisses. I'm totally not grossed out by dog kisses. It's unfortunate if no people will want to kiss me after reading this.

3) The fantastic flavor combination of cheese and banana. If you haven't tried it, shut up.

4) Watching surgery on television. Fascinating. Not at all gross.

5) Kraft Mac & Cheese with no butter in it. I still hold that I can't really taste the difference. Which is probably why my foody friends are often frustrated with me.

6) Babies in all their drooly, snotty glory. I'm not the least bit worried about baby goo. I dig babies at any level of gooeyness.

7) Diet Pepsi. Aspartame may kill me, but first it will make me stronger.

8) Food sharing... I have absolutely no cootie issues, and am often guilty of swiping sips from someone's beverage or food from their plate. I'm cool with double dipping, too, in case you were wondering.

9)Rodents, rats especially. I'm a huge advocate for the rats-as-pets-for-children movement. They don't bite! They're smart! They actually like people!

10) Hot Pockets. I'm fairly convinced they are the perfect food.

And because I'm all about achieving balance in life (?), here's a companion list:

Ten Things Normal People Like That Karyn Thinks Are Gross

1) Cheesecake. Have you had cheesecake? Ugh.

2) Slugs. I realize Normal People may think slugs are a little gross, but I think they're top of the top of the grossness scale. *shudder*

3) Flossing in public. Watching people fish bits of old food out of their teeth with a piece of string is soooo not my idea of a good time.

4) On a similar note, sharing toothbrushes. I still can't believe there are people who actually think this is ok.

5) Kraft Mac & Cheese with other stuff in it. Keep your veggies/tuna/hot dogs/creamed corn away, please and thanks.

6) Feet. Yours, mine, ours... just don't ask me to rub them, and we'll be fine.

7) Anything drenched in sauce or gravy or other unnecessary food-wetters. I'm not even that into soup.

8) Watching people get accidentally injured on television. Cue empathy pain issues.

9) Holding hands when it's more than 90 degrees outside. Ew.

10) Moths. Dude. Creepy.

I'm sure this blog has changed your life. What largely-considered-gross item do you enjoy, or what normal thing grosses you out big time? I'm dying to know.

love.

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